Do you understand?

Do you understand the constant need to be a jerk to others? Well I do. Do you know what it is like to have to turn to excessiveness for everything? I do. Do you know how it feels to fight for everything? I do. Do you know how it feels to know that I will never be a girly girl because I am forced to be a fighter every minute of every day? It SUCKS.

Everyday I am told how negative I am, yet *someone* posts these bible versus about not lying and cheating and stealing and *someone* judges those very posts. It is quite different when I put it like that is it not?

Everyday I am affected by some unforseen issue. The laziness of not following through in *someones* job is the most frequent issue. Beginning in October we have heard "its the holiday". That translates to I do not have to do anything. It is so fustrating and leads me into excessive tactics. While you are perfectly fine and it is "just" a runny nose when you sneeze and wipe that same nose at Walmart (because walmart trips are vital) then touch the carts it effects me. When you want to be lazy and just transfer the messages, you delay treatment. When I have to google and find out you cut corners because "it is the holiday" it infuriates me which in turn makes ME negative and judgemental of YOU, so before you go pointing that finger THINK.

I may be judgy and negative or whatever word you want to use but you damn well know where I stand. I am an open book, last time I checked lying is not polite or acceptable.

Lastly I would love to know how it feels to have a kid not to worry about. Your smoking outside is adorable. I have to walk through it everyday. No way to avoid it. Oh you feed your kid milk and she is ok? Yea, not mine. Oh every kid talks by two? Not mine so do your job and help me figure out why. Your kid is perfect. Mine is not. I get it. I get why I get a kid that has issues but for the sake of God, please understand while she walks and babbles normally that she succeeds everyday by my incessant pushing. The same push that allows me to not keep friends (except one) because I have to push to live. It is what I do to get things done and move on, and most importantly, to be a mother, a wife, a lifter, a nurse, a woman with understanding and persistance.

Christmas and Greed, is it interchangeable?

Christmas and Greed is it interchangeable?

Christmas has always been miserable for me. There is a lot to be said for gift minimums and maximums and the consumer holiday crap. 

I really started to hate Christmas in my twenties when I gave a gift of Target Pajamas to a sibling and I got "that's all I got?". I then found out there was a minimum to be spent. You will see this time of giving frequently marked with minimums to holiday and company parties, to church parties and secret Santa. I find it disgusting. I refuse to participate. I suggest dollar gifts and people scoff. I suggest homemade and people reeeeeally frown. When did we all get so damn greedy? 

This was all initiated by two things today:  1) my grandmother asking what we wanted for Amelya. I told her about the consigned sit and spin and some markers. You know, used (gasp!!) stuff. I wear used. I actually cannot think of any work or workout clothes that are not used. Heck, I wore used boots today!  2) we were given a 25 dollar gingerbread house... Wuuuuut? Yep, 25. While it was well worth it after A got to it, I could of thought of some better uses of 25. I actually watched my BFF use graham crackers and spray icing. Each kid got their own house!! Pretty rad. 

Christians are so lost in the hype they forget the fun in giving when it requires a price.  Atheists are no better. I even see numerous religions touting "the anti Christmas gift" which ends up a huge ticket item. What happened to "Erika loves socks, these are perfect!" And they cost 3 bucks or even 5. Why did you suddenly have to buy 6 damn pairs to meet a minimum? Ohhh because Joe spent 30 and he should get the same in return. So it must be about equality. 

Wow. We all gotta be equal. That is the damn problem with this world, equality. Let me tell you something, I am all about independence, but Michael is a MAN. When did holding his balls in my pocket become equal? When did my ability to step back and allow Michael to speak for me, as the head of household, make me unequal? Did we loose our sense of equality with women's rights or with the dying economy?  I am starting to think our greed did it. When we required the 100 dollar shoes instead of hand me downs or when gift minimums came into effect. When being equal was getting what you gave, not getting what you need. 

Let me leave with this, the seven sins:

1. Greed - Wanting too much of something.  2. Gluttony - Similar to greed, but gluttony is the action of taking too much of something in.  3. Lust - The need to fulfill unspiritual desires (not just sexual desires, but this is usually what lust is associated with.)  4. Envy - Jealousy; wanting to have what someone has.  5. Sloth - Being too slow or lazy at doing something.  6. Wrath - Vindictive anger; angry revenge.  7. Pride 

"Strong is the new skinny"

I have been powerlifting since 2009. That being said I have seen a lot. More than most. I also know a lot more than most about the lifters, their backgrounds and some of the crazy stuff  they have done. I have even asked some people like Lindsay, what actually happened during that seminar. I researched supposed porn by power lifters. Anyhow, there are some pretty distinct personalities in pl...

Most commonly seen is:

That guy who:
Wants to eat his way up (ie bulk)
Wants to stick his pole in every girl but wants her to keep quiet about their "relationship"
Wants to stay "drug free"
Wants to wear tight Aeropostale shirts and greasy hair and bench 315, braaaa
Wants to pull 2.5x bodyweight Lifting for a girl
Lifting for general wellness

That girl who wants to

Sleep her way through the top
Is "clean" (read as drug free)
Is skinny
Has a badonkadonk
Is lifting to feel better about herself
Is lifting because someone made her Is lifting for general wellness

Both who want to "Make a mark on the pl world" Let me tell ya, I have only met two people who have ever reached that mark with respect (honesty, considerate, responsible) AJ and Laura. Yep. Pretty sad, eh? Hell I have my mistakes in pl (I dated a d bag of a lifter before my spouse). So, let me break it to ya, you are not gonna make a mark unless it is in your pants when you squat (ie skid mark). So this point leads into "things you can do to make yourself the talk of pl" they include:  sleeping with the top level lifter, sucking someone's vag/penis, making a bash against another lifter, writing a hot topic article.

Let us all go on to this recent bash on "strong is the new skinny" first off, who the FUCK are you to down a slogan that promotes heavy women (because even though it is not abput weight, the majority of heavy women feel it is)? Do you know the other side of the plight? I do. I weighed 140 at one point. I also weighed 255 at another. So.... The slogan "strong is the new skinny" it is not a slogan to break down, it is a slogan that means skinny is popular, now strong is. There is no need for analysis or definitions. This is not Louie Simmons/Jon Grove/Wendler Scientology. It has nothing to do with unity of women nor body weight, you would know that if you had a bodyweight over 114 and your visible hip bones and ribs was actually something of an illness instead of being proud of it and slathering it all over Instagram. This is not about "uniting women of all body types." "Strong is the new skinny" has gotten so many people I know into strength sports, do not knock it because their numbers are high or you have nothing to write about or because all your friends are a buck fifty. Do not bash women when the whole point of bashing "strong is the new skinny" was to bond females. Let me tell ya honey, I cannot bond with you because odds are I will sit on you and crush you with my big heavyweight ass. So here is my hot topic article. I have never been liked and could really give if I am liked... I also have slept with someone before marriage. So judge me as you may, I have been on both sides of the fence, so my opinion is actually valid. Quit bashing "strong is the new skinny."

Cloth diapers

Cloth Diapers

There are so many questions that take forever to find via Internet on cloth diapers... So many kinds it makes my head spin. So many myths too!! Being the crude mother I am, let me get to the dirty details of myths...

1. You have to touch poop.  Um... First off your kid pretty much does that in your belly for nine months but for all intensive issues lets say you are immune to that. I am wondering how many of you have never pooped and gotten it on your hand when wiping. No one? Well I have. It wipes off. You CAN wash your hands. You can also use a sprayer. It costs around 15 for a sprayer.

2. It is expensive. I paid 180 for all my dipes.... So... Math shall we? 180 (26 diapers) + wipes (used receiving blankets) free+ dipe solution (once a year) 20 + bamboo inserts (25) = 225. (No sprayer, poop does not scare me) so a year is 225Luvs (252ct) 25 + wipes  4=  29 this  is a month worth so a year is 348Now 348-225=125 saved. Is your kid potty trained at a year? No? So....348  + 348 = 696 for two years. I am not spending anything on cloth... SoIn two years I saved 473. That is based on eight dipes a year and NO diaper rashes... 482 with one tube of the good stuff.

3. It is a pain. Is the part where you cannot open your trash can from the smell of poop attractive? Yes? Well, I would not know. You enjoy chlorine chemical burns? The screams of pain with diaper changes? Or what about the chemicals your child absorbs? You ok with that too? I have a high risk kid anyway, so none of that is good for me but do what you must. 

So, more myths shall we?

First of all you CAN buy used diapers cheap (the good ones) and ones to get you by new cheap (not so good).Used diapers can be found on Craigslist, several fb groups and cotton babies.com (the ones I have personally used), in general a used diaper should be five or less and a new, the same. New can and should be purchased via fb co-ops because they get the best price.There are SO many kinds of diapers All in ones (aio), flip system (flip), pockets (ones you stuff) and prefolds. Prefolds are the cheapest. Flip is next, then pocket and aio are pretty expensive. If you flip or pocket you need to know about the insert types (hemp, bamboo, charcoal, microfiber). Hemp and bamboo and charcoal all are big absorbers. Micro fibers are the panty liners of the diaper world. Great for newborns but as a child grows another insert will be needed. I personally stuff... I love my pockets. I dabbled in all in ones but they stunk big time (thanks Tracy for helping me out!!)

I now own or have messed with the following:
Sun baby
Bum genius
Kawaii
Sweet baby bottom
Blueberry
Happy hiney
Lotus bumz

Each diaper has great pros or cons except blueberry. For the cost it sucked. I would never pay 16 bucks for a diaper that lasts only one kid. Keep it.Sun baby is now on its third kid and given that, the fact that you can get them for fiveish a dipe, good job. My sun babies are now delaminating but useable.Sweet baby bottoms have held up as well as sun baby but have a lot more stretch for the larger baby.Lotus bumz are ok at best. For five to ten bucks they are worth one kid BUT I doubt they will last beyond my one kid.Kawaii are my fav besides bum genius. My overnights have not leaked, not once, unfortunately I waaaaay overpaid because no one told me about co ops. Bum geniusthe all in ones SUCKED but absorbed super well. The pockets absorb well but these are the dipes I have had the least amount of time.

Washing cycle

Rinse off poop or pee
Rinse cycle in washer
Wash cycle
Rinse cycle
Dry dipes by air. 

Stink? White vinegar in the wash :) You can use homemade detergent, ALL free and clear (tide is too pricey for me) and invest in some white vinegar and blue dawn in case you get the stinks or start to repel. You can also pick up coconut oil to put on your baby if any redness occurs. That is the quick and easy of it...

Vitamins, training and speech oh my!!!

So... 

After several other issues since my last update with A we are now on Natures Vitality Calm for kids. A is not hyper, but focused. She enjoys playing but it I usually it is very involved and exploring all aspects which eventually leads to her not eating well. So, I found a multi mix, gmo free and full of raw good for you things like fish oil, veges, fruits, bcaa and the normal vitamins and minerals. I started her on two tbsp a day mixed with oj. She is on day four. So far nothing big yet, but I do notice when she misses gym days with me. Apparently A loves being as active as we are. She missed Thursday because of speech and was a grumpy monkey the rest of the day. This leads me to believe we are doing right by her. 

We are also facing a consult for multiple therapies for her. I prefer not to go into detail, but it has angered me only because for months I have indicated a need and it feels like it is taking forever to get a licensed therapist out. It is nice to know her therapies are paid for until 3, but it seems like it may not start until 3 at this point. 

On another aspect I have veered away from powerlifting and into Strongwoman. I had high hopes that strongman would be different from powerlifting, but I am wrong it just has less weirdos than pl. I have asked and received help from a handful of MEN amateurs and one very good sponsored sm but not one single female. I tend to think this is because Strongwoman has less participants, but so does powerlifting; regardless I am very use to being the exclusion being as I never trained Westside, will not ever touch the cube and 5/3/1 is just not for me and with Strongwoman, you can train but there is no set program. 

Strongwoman training:

I do know this: I need stone work. I need front squats. I need high pulls and upper back strength. I need endurance. I will program this in as well as the normal squat, Deadlift and OHP. I am also going to start walking with A with a weight vest on to help. 

SN: this blog was written before this "pro" thing went on. I have one thought.. I see faults on both sides and I wish to keep that to myself. 

Just a thought....

I wish people knew what it was like to be in my shoes. To wake up every morning with your arm half asleep and your husband upset because your child sleeps with you, not because of a belief or bond but because you are worried she will quit breathing. 

I wish people would take me for the person I am that is not always showing, the one who worries constantly if I am on top of the laundry, the dishes, med refills, the grocery list, bills or even  current research on A's nutritional, heart, gi, sleep or speech needs. The one who lifts when she can because putting her in daycare is a death sentence because of the financial burden of a hospital stay. The one who lifts because she would lose her sanity and all reason if she could not. The one who feels like although she tries, she knows she has placed her spouse on the back burner to make everything work to have a family.  The one who will always speaks out but not about the things that really bother her. The one who also works 29+ hours despite what people think. 

I wish people knew the countless things it takes to be strong. Physically and mentally. 

I wish people would experience the daily issues of a child with needs. 

Often, more than once a day I try to research alternate methods to help my little. Such a small surgery brought on big consequences... And often I do not even know where to start.

Things not to say to a heart parent

Things NOT to say to a Heart Mother or Father

1. She looks fine! If fine is a damaged heart, then yea, she is GREAT.

2. She is all fixed now! Sure, lets scar up your lungs and see how well you breathe the next 5 years of your life IF you live that long.

3. What did you do? Just like I saw on http://www.mommyish.com/2013/10/18/10-things-say-nicu-mom/ I drank, smoked crack and did drugs.

4. At least it is just her heart. Oh is it? The non stop vomiting, the sleep apnea, etc... Yea just her heart.


5. That must be hard. No, what makes it hard is that 90 percent of the world thinks no one else is sick and it is ok to expose everyone else to the (insert gi bug, flu, cold here) or that cancer is more life threatening than CHD.

6. Well at least you can stay home with her more. Ok, so how do I afford her 61 dollar meds or doctor visits? A car to take her there? Foods to make her eat so she does not loose weight. 6a. Put her in a daycare for a day or two. Sure. So do you take your kid to daycare with a "clear" snotty nose? Oh, yes? Well clear runny nose causes us to be on respriatory treatments and miss the 30 plus hours I need to work.

7. You are always so serious when it comes to (insert person/thing/activity). My daughter was given less than a normal kids opportunity to do normal daily activities, she has issues to look for and a limited life span and yes, I take full blame for it, so if she cannot give 100, I will.

8) Her scar is not that bad. First off a daily cream at 17 an oz is applied and do you have a scar that will span your back your entire life for people to stare and or make fun of?

9) She will not need another surgery right? Your (insert relative here who had a heart attack) had to go back for hardening/stenosis right? Well she is one, so you guesstimate.

Poop in my armpit

Today I found poop in my armpit and I laughed... But that is not the funniest part. It was NOT my poop. As of recent I have made some small yet trivial decisions. Most of those decisions resolve around my daughter, my gym life and what kind of person I see myself as. If you would of asked me three years ago, my life revolved around powerlifting and obtaining a 428 squat in the 198 class. Two years ago, about how to care for not only myself but a CHD kid and a boyfriend. A year ago about how to provide for my family and myself. My point here is that situations are ever fluctuating but it matters in how you handle them. Over the past two years Michael has quieted me. Amelya has busied me... And I feel like I can never stay on top of housework, my job or my lifting. I chronically read these blogs of how I need to savor every moment with Amelya then move on where some other Mom has saved four kids from a prostution ring, made their clothes by hand for the next five years and planned their education requirements day by day in a color coded notebook with handmade origami puppets from their homeland while reading the top ten Christians women books, wearing a size 4 and her kids made A/B honor roll because she pushed the governor to pay for a special book that teaches them to read by 2. Let me pause here. I found poop in my armpit. My daughter ate a bath crayon while I tried to clean the toilet while she bathed (should of pined those damn fuzzy cleaning tabs). I had to pause three times while drying her because of a back pump from yoke carries, squats and sled pulls. I washed 4 loads of laundry, swept, mopped and blended her night meal in addition to looking for a Halloween outfit for her that is not beyond slutty and giving her meds and lastly making sure her baby was clean. Unpause. I realized tonight laughing with or at her or me or Michael is the only sanity I have anymore. No more taking advice to prevent this or that. I have kept my kid alive. She has one hole. Her stenosis has not indicated a surgical need. I have completed a meet, a 5k and a strongman comp. I have Christmas cards done and a list prepared. I still feel busy and failing. Do those who "enjoy every moment" doing it or are they busy writing about it? I look back at a group of mothers I once knew and questioned how they did it.... Be SO perfect and have time to enjoy the moment with the kids and wear a size 4 and be on top of it all... Then I realized two things. They only had five hours of moment, because otherwise they were working to pay for everything to be perfect and have that so called moment. I had that moment today. I had poop in my armpit but I also managed to keep it to myself and clean and work on my fitness... Until one of those "in the moment" blogs popped up three times on my news feed. Why do these women insist on running everyone's life telling them things that will happen soon or exactly what is so wonderful in life? What happened to your happiness? Having a kid changes things, yes but why must we savor every moment? I get those moments without making them happen with my daughter. I think it is perfectly ok as a mom to relish in your knitting, your gym lifts or hell the Internet... You won't miss that forced moment, I promise. So anyway... Back to the poop for a moment. Amelya was running crazy to hide while I drained the tub and she code browned and it was on a foam letter which she had in her hand when I picked her up to kiss her. It was funny. I actually laughed and then realized I may not have what other blogging Moms or richy rich Moms have but I have that moment and I didn't have to stop for it, it just happened.My point to all of this? Let it happen, breathe, enjoy it and when you find poop in your armpit, laugh... Not blog and plan a new one.

The weight issue...

The weight of a child, a teen, a woman and a mother...

My original blog was going to focus on MY diet and then I saw a picture of a young girl,  (who I would determine to be a teen) next to another teen who is a dear friend of mines child (teen)... Then I looked down to my over 98% percentile kid (height) 60% percent (weight) then to pictures of my niece (who towers over kids her age) And then I thought about my weight history (thin, chubby, skinny, muscular, chubby).

I want to go back to my childhood... I was thin. I played outside (a lot) I chased my sisters. I played volleyball. We ate family meals and my Mom (let me step back for a moment and mention she is my step mother only because it plays a role with genetics, otherwise we refer to her as Mom) often restricted my intake because of whatever reason (restricted means no extra helpings of Pepsi or really any food until the plate was clean). I never noticed the difference and I was always full. We went out (what I remember was weekly) weekly and ate junk. Sounds like a good plan right? Honestly, forward to my adult life (skinny and muscular) I ate the same way. She taught me HOW to eat (but not what obviously, it was 20 years ago). I was never harassed. I never dieted. I loved to play ball and work on being better at it... Forward to chubby stage one. I began to eat as a family during my first marriage and got pretty chubby and unhappy. I made money and worked around the house but no actual FUN. I was miserable. I only realized this after my divorce. Would lifting of helped us? I tend not to think so. My ex, although a wonderful tender hearted man drank a lot. A... Lot.... I am gonna leave it there being as we are still occasional friends and my intentions are not to hurt him. Eventually I got thin, began lifting and met the man of my dreams. I was the most happy during those summer nights on cheat night. On to now, I am chubby. I have been carb back loading and although a wonderful diet, just not for me. I am going back to clean eating post vacation. At some point eating became boring, back loads no fun. Cheaty foods are suppose to be magical and along the way they lost their vigor.

Now I want to step into another childhood of a friends. He is one of two brothers. Both compete. Both know how to diet. Their mother even works out. The one thing that resonates HUGE with me is in getting to know them both, they both mentioned their parents took them to the gym with them. How amazing is that? Their father has since passed and both boys still lift and diet (to my knowledge). What a great life choice to pass on to your children!!

I think that is today's issue. There are no family activities. No park trips. No night walks. Cheat foods are easy to come by and they are no longer cheats. They are "meals." We do not eat with family, we may sit by them, but we are constantly posting pics of our food or critiquing Paula Deen via fb. We think dieting means eating a meal a day, or worse, throwing it up. It has to stop.

My friends little girl is Smart. Kind. Beautiful. She has parents that lift and set the tone for her. My niece is Beautiful. Kind. Compassionate. She has a uncle who has lifted her whole life. My daughter is Kind. Goofy. Sassy. The thing they have in common? They tower over their peers. They are not a size zero. Nor should they be. They all are adorable in gowns, they all look like they care what goes in their mouth. I know my niece does not wear Abercrombie even though all the kids do, but the girl honestly jazzes it up. So does my friends daughter. Kids are so mean. My niece will soon find that the simple town she lives in was full of it. College will be so much better, she can relish her height. Her body. Her looks. She can quit thinking being skinny is so fucking important. She can start learning working out is fun!! The teen has five more years of brain warping thinking a zero is ok... And my kid has 12. I feel so bad for them.

This world is so warped, even our presidents wife has no concept of carbs, look at the food pyramid!! We need to change. Society needs to really change before we have that kid in Mars needs Moms. As adults we need to do it also. Instead of exempting out of P.E. we need two P.E.s!!! We need to get rid of video game controllers. Stop gmo and processed foods. We need to show our kids what a gym is. We need to empower our kids to know how to look past the shit coated cheeseburgers. It is not just one person, it is all people that need to change and honestly, I do not even know where to start except with our family.

Fustration.. Stress...

So, today I missed a stone. Yes, one stone and the 175 pinned me to the ground. I am pretty upset because while showering I came up with the most bullshit excuses ever.

I was too sweaty. (82 degrees) I was tired. (4hrs) I was sore. (Ghr work two days ago) I was low carb. I have shin splints. I have to work. I was fasting.

Holy bullshit batman. I am pretty disappointed I let the 140 stone and having to alternate the pattern of my lifts do that... So not me.

What is me is fixing it.

I am not drinking enough. I am not sleeping enough (unavoidable, but I need to try at least one nap a week with my daughter) I need to wear my running shoes if I sprint.

I really have failed to keep anything consistent in these aspects and I plan to initiate a more detailed plan.

Fan page this...

I cannot stand fan pages. You do not get a fan page because you workout. Not even if you hold some stupid world record in eating the most hotdogs in 1/10th of a second. You know who should have a fan page? No one but people sellin' stuff, you know like hookers, schmoes and the bi-lo bonus card. My first thought on a fan page is why does this person consider themselves worthy of a fan page... Then it hits me. They are an affffflete! I forgot, no wait, I do remember, ATHLETES get paid to workout or train or lift or whatever it is they do.

The onslaught of over 20 plus pages of people making themselves a page has just led me to contempt for people who lift, I mean is it not enough to just post a vid or two and a status? Laura Phelps Sweatt, the labelled Queen of Iron is without a fan page and I guarantee she out lifts more than anyone I know, yet YOU deserve a fan page??

I seem to think there is some shameless self promotion in this fan page crap and I guess part of me gets that (I do have a blog and an open Instagram account and I do pimp out my husbands blog and the facts that he writes programs (schultzestrength.blogspot.com) but neither of us will ever open a fan page.

Just like my last blog I will piss off a couple people in here, but such is life, well mine at least.

Training has gone well with my biggest issue being stones. I guess this puts a big target on my back, just coming out and admitting that, but like anything else, with exposure, I will get better.

I am also working on my double unders and speed for strongman (easiest way) and maybe later for a cf meet or whatever it is they do.

Now onto the mommy part of my blog...

I want to know who in the fuck made a zillion kinds of sippy cups, my life is not difficult enough I have to dissect and touch each one in addition to checking for bpa, durability, guarantees, germ issues and safety hazards so now, I feel like a fucking engineer. (Run on sentence anyone?)

Honey. For all the things we are told not to eat and avoid WHY am I having to tell a million people local honey for allergies? Whhhhhhhhhhy? It is a sweetener, it is delicious. You can use it as a wax, a lube, or maybe even use it for "that head cold"!!! Errrrmygerd.

I plan to tackle the sleep issue in another blog, but for now, I must admit between watching a mother not care that her child is ready to nap (and me having to listen to it) and just sleepy grumpy ass kids in general, I am ready to do that blog up with guns a blazin.

Btw, I plan to do my first CrossFit box war this weekend... This should be interesting.

The importance of beating your ass....

The importance of beating your ass.


It is important to me, day to day to be better than I was the day before. Be it as a wife, a mother, as an the closet cross fitter, or as a powerlifter. I do not want to be better because I do not like an individual, but moreso because an individual gave me the number to beat. I love to compete. I love being stronger than most people I know.

"That being said" I was so politely called out on fb about my day to day gym activities and why I am at a cf gym and the amount of dues I pay. Let me be real clear with the dues: My dues are just that, MINE. I pay and that should be sufficient enough for anyone.

"That being said" I do not CrossFit because I do not pay for it. I have been involved in two metcons now only because the owners wife asked, otherwise I do them on my own because I like to hit my weaknesses in my own makeup metcons (and because Wade said no).

"That being said" I guess it is time to start working on more cardio/time based lifts when I am off or if I can at home... Why? That same person who called me out needs their ass beat in their own sport.

People so kindly forget Taylar Stallings who after crossfitting for 7 or 8 months made it to REGIONALS. She also was a powerlifter who held a lot of pl records in 165/181 class... Cross fitters need to be VERY aware that although power lifters hate running, tell us no, and we will literally hit the pavement.

So... Back to beating your ass. I held the squat record for 181 not too long ago and watched it taken from me while I was pregnant. Ultimately, it is my goal to get it back. Not because Shannon Nash holds it (I was there when she broke it) but because it is mine!!! This week I watched two cf do Turkish get ups and double unders with 10 & 15 lb in 10:50 and 11.02... So I did 30 and with every breath I took tried to beat them. They got me by .25 but I doubled the weight. I also squatted 225 for 3 reps and 5 sets before and they benched before. I actually enjoyed the fact that the time pissed me off enough to drive me. How can a person not want to beat a time?

What happened to competition? Oh... I remember. Some big f'in crybaby needed a trophy for every event. I remember as a kid my parents took me to dance and when we did well we got invited to a special class. I also remember I wanted to be in that class and i did get invited at one point but I worked for it!! I remember when trying to win meant something. It is heartbreaking to lose. I will hate it when Amelya has to but then I will show her where we can make her better and we will work on it. Maybe this is where we as parents are failing with kids. Working on things means effort and now a days with our fast paced world we do not have time. As a society and as a parent we need to fix this before we have a bunch of pussy fat ass kids ruling the world.

Anyhow, training has been well and I recently hit a tough but fun Deadlift pr and my handstand and OHP work is looking a lot better. I am six weeks out from a strong woman event in which I will have five people to beat (myself included) and I am honestly stoked, I am sure one of them will light a fire under my ass.

Leave now if you do not wanna read mommy stuff...

We are investing in wool dryer balls. Cheaper and supposedly better. I am super excited to stop buying fabric softener which pretty much makes everything water repellant. Less chemicals too :) I am hoping in the long run all this crunchy/granola stuff pays off... So far so good.

Why the strength world hates CrossFit...

I will tell you why I personally hate CrossFit...

They have no real idea of a real diet. They think paleo is legit, when in actuality they eat 100% paleo 50% of the time.

They do not squat to depth. They do not have any lower body power.

They literally run away gains.

CrossFit is disguised as GPP or drills.

They have abs.

They use those horrible harbinger soft belts and think it helps.

Now why the general public hates CrossFit....

Above plus they are weak.

They are trained by a guy who literally holds a certificate and paid 3k to do it.

CrossFit gets tons of attention.

CrossFit is popular even with the weak and fat.

CrossFit never perfects one lift let alone correct form.

Why CrossFit hates its self (and it does not know it)...

Eventually cf popularity will come to a running halt.

They are being beat by women and men who in general are just stronger.

They are realizing paleo is not giving them the muscle growth and recovery to get stronger.

I once heard a CrossFit box owner say "hate cf, most cross fitters are cocky and just big douche bags." now I will quote myself "Powerlifting is not bonded at all, at most it has cliques of Westside and then other training methods"

Let me also say this: NO PROGRAM is perfect without integration of other things. I judged and watched a cf meet not to long ago and noticed one big thing... Cf never benches but does a lot of cleans and thrusters and handstands, etc... Two women had a 95# bench, the rest, a plate!! Powerlifting cannot say that. Heck I cannot either! My bench is weak in the pl world. I should of been benching 200 long ago. My answer to fix this? Try cf techniques. First of all it is fun... Let me tell you I hate bench, like I would skip it forever if I could, but I like cleans, hangs, handstands, therefore I like to practice whenever I can.

Do not get me wrong, CrossFit is weak. They think it is ok to run a gazillion miles then squat. It is NOT ok, there are tons of studies that says this is not ok, yet, cf continues to do it. CrossFit men's legs are TWIGS. No thank you.

90% of boxes suck, but did you know they have specialties? Some like Olympic lifts, some strength, some form, some endurance, etc. Our box is different. Yes, OUR. I am part of a cf gym. I love it. OUR box is not scared to up the weight, to hit depth (and tell you) or work on being strong. Our box asks for help to be stronger with big wigs like Donnie Thompson. We read books, articles, talk about it. I do wish our box ate to lift and integrated scaling and or rest weeks, but like every program, our box has its weakness. This is why having an open box is so great. We are very diverse. We have people for weight loss, strength, fitness. At any point someone will help. I have gone through two sets of training partners and honestly until now, no one has ever been willing WILLING to help. Not just write a program or tell me I am not low enough, but say put the bar there, work on this part. Now, do not get we wrong, pl has pointed out my issues, but it is usually only meet based.

I realize hating CrossFit is not a new issue, but in all honesty, doing OHP to help bench or board work to help with weaknesses may not be your answer. Maybe instead of saying because so and so told me this will help we should consider adding other programming to our training.

Simply put, CrossFit sucks, but so does powerlifting. Quit being jealous of all the cf attention and open your eyes to something that may just make you better.

Lift the one you love

Here recently I have been seeing a huge amount of people being "intimate" with another person who does not lift or compete or even see a gym on a daily basis. EVERY one of them wishes their mate did some sort of gym activity, yet the one wishing does nothing or the mate just refuses to do nothing. It is beyond me why the person wishing does nothing, to me the gym is like God (not quite on his level, but similar, wwjd? Jesus would go to the gym!) A necessary deed, a savior, a refuge. People that do not go to the gym eat, watch tv and I guess shop with what could be considered gym time while you work it out in the gym. My question is this: what the heck do you talk about with your mate? Michael and myself talk about PRs, ways to get stronger, how lifts went, if Amelya pooped, did Amelya get her medications, did she nap and of course what is for dinner!! I mean we watch some tv but is that really fun discussing that? Heck most do not even like watching the same tv shows.

Eating is always something to talk about but most gym goers diet. So, that is out. Clothes. Ok, if your a man the only thing you a thinking about is how to get her out of them. I just do not understand. I am a one time divorcee. At that time I did not workout or train or whatever and in the end all I did was get fat and unhappy. My ex did too. Michael is actually a huge motivator to go to the gym, look at him. I know we all have different opinions of what is sexy, but let me tell you my husband is smoking!!! I swear if I was not married I would of be lazy about losing the weight, but I am not and I am much happier, and the gym is my sanity. Hell the gym is how I met my spouse. I guess the reason for this post is I so often see one train and another not and eventually see divorce, then I see couples who train together like the sweatts and they have been married forever... Proof is in the pudding. Lift the one you love.

Put up or shut up....

Article reading

I read an article today by a professional powerlifter who has recently disappeared from the scene of powerlifting. I have a very bad opinion of her for so many reasons, and it has gone so far that I was banned from outlaw powerlifting (boooo hoooo) but still, a Strongwoman I follow tagged her and it all linked back to the her blog. In May of 2011 she wrote that women are going from the cooking for the hubs and cleaning/taking care of family variety to the lifting/strong type. I disagree. I do both. Candace Pupulo, Stephanie Rodgers, Jill Mills and Nicholle Gregg all do what I do. We cook for our family, we lift, we hold records, we do dishes, laundry, clean, change diapers, study lifting techniques and read about them, help and support other lifters, diet, grocery shop, run errands,  scrub the house clean and somehow manage to take care of our husbands and hold a job! So PP is gonna show the world how she can change that idea... Good luck with that, like Miranda Lambert says "I can do it all with a baby on my hip".

I would like to continue on by saying not ONLY do I do it with a baby on my hip, but I loooooove doing it, I mean sure, there are days when Michael ticks me off (usually low carb days) by not rinsing her dipes or disagreeing with me disagreeing with his training program, but in total, I love my life. I do enjoy having dinner ready for the husband when he gets home, or having his clothes set out. I also love that my daughter listens when we tell her it is time for bed or that she has never had a diaper rash (or even that she is with us!!!) BUT I also love the 90 minute alone time with the gym... They all make me who I am and always wanted to be. I mean, we do not have the best of it all material wise, but we get by and are super thankful for all of our friends and family. I would trade being at the top of pl for my family in a heartbeat because honestly, I am no one without them. I did this sport single and motherless for two years and my gains back have been so much more positive and stronger vs being single. Now do not get me wrong, there is not a damn thing wrong with single, but I think your spouse/life partner/gf/bf  whatever should lift or at least run (gag!) and if you are single and hollerin' it should not be in a bar.  Honesty and respect should lead a relationship be it in public,  in the home or with the weight on the bar. My conclusion on this small ramble is this... There is nothing wrong with being a wife and mommy first and a lifter second, but the gym should never overtake your family because...

POWERLIFTING IS NOT A SPORT THAT REMEMBERS ANYONE.

Do you know Becca Swanson?  What were her last numbers? Shawn Frankl?
Sam Byrd? (for the record all of these lifters either have taken a break and focused on family or job or some other sport but still train). Powerlifting  is not a sport that remembers anyone except maybe Louie, Mark Bell and Laura (and people still do not know Laura's name!!) and honestly most people do not even know what a powerlifter is. I am curious what makes people think they are gonna be famous off of pl? Because you hold all the state and junior and teen angst records? No. Because you run a lifting program (this does not apply to Louie or Chad Smith obviously)? No. Because you wrote a blog? Nope. You are remembered when you hold top numbers, produce people with top numbers or sell a product... and even then it is very hit or miss.

The only thing pl does for anyone is a hobby at most, with the exception of a few who sell gear, shirts, own a gym or maybe training programs. In the gym or in meets or even in public people who have these fantastic numbers think the world owes them something. Nope.... News flash, you are just a gym rat who "does those competitions where you put a bathing suit on" or "that guy who lifts those rocks onto that platform", the outside world could care less unless you do something big and even then you have 15 minutes so quit thinking you are the shit and start putting your big ego into big numbers because eventually we all end up like me "that girl who puked all over the head judge pulling weight" instead of "Erika,  pulling 425 (2.5x my bw) who was allergic to muscle milk."

Set yourself up to fail

Weightlifting/Powerlifting/CrossFit attempts


I am curious how many people set out to fail on a third attempt? What exactly is the logic in choosing your attempts?

"No one ever won a chess game by betting on each move. Sometimes you have to move backward to get a step forward" Amar Gopal Bose

I heard someone tell a fellow lifter that "your last attempt should be a fail". She will read this and know I am speaking about her, and therefore she shall remain nameless. The chick is actually strong given her body weight and I will also take into account she regularly does cf.

Let me step back a moment and put why her doing cf plays into it. Cf is highly cardio/drill/time based moreso than pl/sm. Pl is more number based. In sm there is more of a mix. In Cf you go in wanting to beat a time, not a weight, and in my mind changes things.

So... Failure your last attempt? Hell no. No, no, no. Here is my logic into my last prepregnancy meet (my last meet as an example would not be good given I lowered all my openers because of the stupid dbl ear infection). I walked into the meet knowing I had to beat 418 to take the all time world record so I knew 420 was going to be my second if not my last attempt. My opener was 370. This was a number I at least tripled in the gym. One I knew depth was easy to hit. My second was 420. Why 420? I knew I could take it a second time and I knew a pr was coming. I think your first attempt should be based on your second being a pr. So your last pr was say 225 (Cindy's last pr in a meet) her first attempt should be in the 200 range. I do not like huge jumps, never over 50lb honestly so her next attempt at least 235 or 240. This should be pretty easy given it is a meet, she is well rested, (another HUGE issue) and she has eaten well. Her final should be within 5 to 10 lbs of her second attempt... I consider your final a freebie PR, at this point you have felt the weight, you know it was easy, your mind is set and you will not feel 5 or 10 lb so nailing it should be easy. Never a fail though, who in the crap sets up to fail? Do you think Rich F or Klokvo is like eh, if I fail it is ok, I got one PR. No, they are out to rape our times and weights even if it is by 5lb, to show they can out do you regardless, that is how they got where they are, 5 more than you adds up. People have recently posted about how only 11 men have hit the 2300 mark, do you think anyone knows the name of the 2295 guy? No. What if he added 5 more lb to his final attempt?? Yes they would, I do not know the names of anyone within 10 lbs of 2300. Do not be that person who went 6 for 9, even if you think you left some on the platform, I feel like two PR attempts that lead to a 15+ pr plus 9/9 is better than 6/9 and a 10lb pr. That is only my opinion though, and this is just a silly powerlifting mommy blog.

Hit meet... The strongest cf!

So yesterday I got up at 5 to bench before the Hit meet. It was terrible, Michael has removed main bench work and we hit close grip first. It sucks and I am horrible sore today.

After bench I went home to have what I thought was a terrible day because we have done meets with Amelya and it is obvious after this meet that only when we compete does it get hectic (and I am sure my fever, double ear infection and her neediness did not help) anyhow we had the pleasure of judging. This is more Michaels bag, but I enjoy it the couple of times I have done it.

Squats. Out of the handful of times judging, this is the least amount of reds I have ever given for squats. I do not know how others judge, but after a point you kinda forget who is squatting you just know this pair of shorts squatted like an inch high and you pray they hit depth this squat. I only had one guy I had to call out twice and I really think form is more of an issue than depth... On this note Cindy squatted a 20lb pr. I really think she has HUGE numbers coming for the 181 class as long as her weight stagnates at the 165 plus range (possible given her strong thick lower body) now just to show her what the 181 class can do for her! I know she misses met cons and much like me she does not care about the scale but at the same time would like to be thinner/lean and that is ok as long as she is not killing herself doing both.

Pulling. I also got to see a lot of pulling (my bag) and I really think power lifters pull better and stronger and cross fitters do not know their strength, ESP the men and larger women (I get to say larger because I am!) I realize OLY lifting is huge in the cf world and that plays a lot into it technique. The only vids I saw of the first strong pl turning cf (Taylor Stallings) she pulled pl technique during the cf games (granted the vid I saw was crazy far away) and she took the box jump/dl metcon by storm... This leads me to believe our way is better.

Bench. ALOT of women had a 135 plus bench. I think pl needs to figure out why we (mostly women) suck so bad at bench. I also think after the past month I have figured it out. Candace, Gracie and Laura all know what the key is. I really hope some pl will take this into consideration.... the key is: handstands (all forms). Like Cindy said, you are working body weight pull ups but reversed. How many women can really pull up with great form? Prepregnancy I did 3. I can do one now, with horrid form. I am integrating that and some upper back work to help my bench. I also think every box needs to work on bench pauses and Michael has a really good method for that.

Venue. I am gonna go out on a limb here and make ONE bad comment. This is MY opinion and no one influenced me or said anything, this is my view. Wade had two vendors there. Not gonna say who but I know the one guy. He really did two things to make me angry. One was he continues to sponsor the weak. Formulated with body weight Michael has lb by lb more than any kid this guy sponsers (although I do not know EVERY one)... I have made several attempts to mention we would love to be sponsored but apparently that went unheard. THEN the guy hits up Michael because he has no clue who he is. Michael blew him off. THEN the guy leaves his trash littering Wades gym. Yea, done with THAT guy, he can take his fashionable buckle jeans and mirrored aviators back to wherever he came from. Now mind you, WADE is the owner, I respect any of his guests and his decisions, but that does not mean I gotta like the guy so with that being said if Wade were to make the decision to deal with him my opinion or whatever is invalid. I honestly should not of mentioned it, but I could not think of one bad moment in this meet and there it is. Bad with the good.

Good things:

So many things!!!

Big space! Donnie Thompson! The Meetzes lovely kiddos!
Donuts! Paleo pancakes! Jessica Holmes! Skip!
Coffee! Volunteers! Three other boxes!!
Yelling! Two platforms!
PR! Awards for ONLY the best lifters! (And they were pretty cool)
Knee wraps! Inzer belt use!
Money! Friends! Hugs!
Pictures! Done by 3! (55 plus lifters) (4 lifts)

I am sure I am forgetting a ton of stuff, but like any kiddo, Amelya had her moments and I ran and got us food, changed her, etc and I did not see it all.

After the meet was over the Meetzes loaded us up with drinks, shirts, shakers, etc which was awesome and we headed home to unpack and Michael went back to bench. After benching we went to eat at Pops then chilled on the back porch and then bed!!! It was a good day! I had so much fun! Thank you so much to the Meetzes who let me get in two good hours judging while watching Amelya for me, it was like a mini vacation!!!

The cost of living....

The cost of living...

So at least once a day in fb I bring up what we eat or what I have recently cooked and sometime around that point I have usually done our hardcore shopping... Like 300 to 450 Dollar hardcore. We carb backload except for Michael who pretty much has carbs regardless to keep up that sexy 330 plus. I myself have dropped 40 plus and watched my strength gains go up utilizing it.

Within the past year, as many if you know we have had some financial blows related to our daughter and between that and just trying to get on top and whatnot our grocery funds are limited. Meaning for us quanity usually ranks quality unless it comes to our daughter, in which that case we will cut one place for another. I am honestly stoked to see how well her type of eating works for her than how I was raised. I was raised with moderation eating, which did ok for me, BUT I came from a grandfather who owned a bakery and we frequently snacked on sugary items. I do minimal research at best on foods, but I do try to stay abreast and make right decisions. So onto some specifics....I will breakdown the 450ish I spent on this months food and reasons as to my shopping logic.

Trader Joes: I was always a fan long before I even met my now spouse. I recently have been drawn back because of my research on genetically modified shit. Yes, shit. Have you ever looked into genetically modified anything? It is mutilated and just full of issues. TJ's labels contain no gmo and they are cheap for certain things. I usually get finger snacks for dear daughter and then pita and pretzel chips for the hubs. They also have a kick ass cheese section if we have the spare cash. Always take your bags in there is a .5 discount. They also have cookie butter. Shut.your.face. Seriously the best back loading heaven ever but it does top out around 5, so that vs their peanut butter for 3 and guess what wins. They also have some pretty good sugar free chocolate but it is not the tj label and ever since we found Aldi's chocolate tj is a no go... We do however get our chocolate chips from them because Daughter will have a bite of a cookie on rare occasions and because the hubs likes cookie dough post lifts (and they are a touch cheaper).

Aldi: They are usually a every other month visit. Primarily for sugar, flour, and spices. Oh and chocolate. Omg. Coffee and cream Chocher is ammmmmmazing, I spent 35 there last month but as I said before this varies. Sugar is one thing I hope to be changing soon, primarily to raw but I want to research it a tad longer... We also get our deodorant here or target. We sweat a lot and they sell 19% aluminum which although not all natural this girl is not gonna be stank nasty so I grab it up at 2 a bar or the target Mitchum is 3 at 20%.

Costco: Our money saver. Today I spent 300. This trip is usually 230 to 250 but our daughters juice and yogurt was on sale. On my trip today I got #10 red lean uncut hamburger meat (food handling is a major no no for me, more hands =more contamination risk) 4 pork loins, 4 packs of italian sausages, 2# of sausage, 2# of bacon, and steak (unsure of weight) plus 48 boxes of organic juice for Amelya, 7 containers of heavy cream, 2 bags of Splenda (on sale and we will prob go back at the end of the month which we usually do not do but it is 5 bucks cheaper this month), vanilla (the only baking product NOT from aldi besides coconut oil) 40 cups of Greek yogurt, 4 bottles of fish oil, 3 bricks of cheese, salted and unsalted butta, 10# of rice for Michael (cheap and easy carb), large size sour cream and cream cheese, whole milk for the little and some other randoms. What I listed is our base but we usually get muscle milk bimonthly there too and that adds on 70ish depending on the sale.

Target: 35 today. Eggs are 1.11 there. Yes, 1.11. I buy 16 dozen a month. I also get trash can liners, small bags of whole grain noodles, toothpaste, deodorant, soup and Annie's reheat pasta (only nonmonsato quick reheat I am aware of). If it is not on sale or I do not have a coupon I do not buy it unless it is something for Amelya (shirt, movie, a new snack) or today, headbands to keep sweat out of my face and my new olive oil sprayer (in which i will be using grapeseed oil instead) to avoid chemical laden cooking sprays. I also picked up crossiant rolls for my hubs and the kiddo because they are usually quick and easy to use and I have not mastered the crossiant. I also get all of my crystal lite stuff there because they are only 2.20 there... And our gallon jugs that we rotate out go bpa reasons and to avoid germ growth on the Cpap.

*every month we also have Amelya's meds also, but that is not factored into monthly grocery bills unless it is for the flavoring... I should mention that I choose not to find alternate all natural meds because the treatment risks her heart and I would rather deal with the occasional night terror or snoring.

Hoggs: 12 local honey. I consider this an investment given that I am not touting Amelya to the doctor.

Co op: 35 a month. I love my fruit and vege co op. if you have more than one person in your house, it is a MUST have. ESP with a kid, variety is the spice of life and with a preset basket and the mindset to use it, it can expose you to anything!!! My co op stays local as long as it can meet basket contents.

Dollar tree: 10 every three months... Primarily for razors, Epsom salt and garlic pepper seasoning.

Walmart: 10. I hate Walmart. I avoid it like the friggin plague. It is hard to coupon there and the freak stench is enough to make me want to run out screaming like a friggin banchee. I usually get Purex bar soap and tea tree. The good news is both of those products can be caught on Amazon pretty cheap and cost me maybe .50 cents more and for that, I will pay willingly.

I do want to note that from what I have seen a normal non powerlifting family (is that really normal?) pays closer to the 500 range which is INSANE to me. I also want to make mention I make our shaving cream, cleansers, laundry detergent for us and her , I cloth diaper, I make her wipes. I hand wash dishes (primarily because our dishwasher is a POS) and I mop on my hands and knees because I have a toddler. I also utilize the bleach tabs with less waste and easier to keep out of someone (ahem, Amelya's) hands. The basic needs there are the rinds of lemons and oranges, vinegar (Costco), borax, oxyclean, washing soda, purex bar soap, baking soda, tea tree oil, coconut oil and/or grapeseed oil). *note most oils have different uses, it is good to research these.

I use old rags and washcloths with each having their own room to clean (ie no kitchen rag in the bathroom).

I make my own pie crust, pizza crust, cakes, cookies, quiche, shred my own cheese (did you know preshreeded cheese only has two cups but they claim more?) I buy brick and work on Tricep power and save some cash.

I try to cook once a week and only cook in am so I am not jacking up the power bill by cranking the ac just to cook.

We do have a deep freezer to stock up on sale items.

Lastly, I switched to hair one recently. It costs 11 every other month, if that. No more sodium laurel in my shampoo... She sounds great but laurel makes you buy more product. No thanks. I use it on me and Amelya and that is it... Even with our curls!!

I am avidly trying to stay away from highly processed, fast food, chemical shitstorm, Monsanto ridden foods. It has taken a while to discover this and I am sure it will take a while to get into it being as other than fruits and veges healthy foods cost way more.

Nothing all this cost makes me wonder... And it should you too, why is our current administration all proactive about activity YET it costs double to eat well versus going to little Cesar's or mcd and feeding a whole family for 8-10 bucks. Even if you do not go out why in the world is Monsanto so cheap vs non Monsanto? If you have not researched it, it is time to look into it. Control the food control the masses. I am gonna stop there because I can go on for hours... Tata!

Articles, Training and Applications oh my!!!

Articles, Our Training and Applications oh my!!!

So this AM I noticed that Dan Green put out an article on why Westside is not the only side. I disagree with a good number of his points but also agree with a number of his points. See, I did Westside at the beginning of learning to powerlift with Gordon Lake, it was a great eye opener to powerlifting. I enjoyed it but eventually I did not see the process of Westside and that meant Gordon and myself did not see eye to eye being as Becky Rich was his coach and she did or does (?) Westside. Becky has done awesome with Westside, if you do not know her you really need to take the time and look this girl up, she is crazy strong and good looking and friendly to boot!! I eventually ended up training at North Georgia Barbell where Jon Grove ran programming. Jon was not a Westside follower and honestly I had no place else to train. Jon used a method of heavy chains in which I quickly fell in love with and pulled my dl from a horrid 330 to 400. I was pretty happy with that!! I was also not training with any females and to be honest the three times one girl came in to train the focus was more on her ass than our training. I have said before I never trained with women until recently and that is still very limited partially due to the fact that I just want to get in there and be productive and strong. Anyhow, back to Jon. Jon did integrate some good Westside concepts like good mornings and speed work. My squat went from 290 in 09 to 418 in 11 (I think it was 11, lol) so again I love it. My training eventually moved back to Greenville (thanks to GA cops and a certain Deadlift video) and to Dave Brown (a very avid Westsider) where I integrated box jumps and Kettlebells into a globo gym workout along with some Westside techniques. Anyhow, life continued to progress and marriage and a child then happened and although I lifted until I was 7 months I used no certain training method, I instead based training on keeping muscle mass and some strength. My point to all this is that I myself am littered with Westside much like Dan Green was (I am not comparing my lifts to his by any means, just pointing out something similar) and I had held some pretty strong lifts like a raw 418 squat and 455 pull.... now, I actually have some very awesome strong friends who do Westside and some awesome strong friends who do not and even though I do not preform Westside exclusively we still talk about training and whatnot. One girl in particular is Gracie. Gracie is a pretty well known in pl as is her now fiance. Gracie has defended Westside and its methods ALOT as well as having to defend her lifts (which honestly, who has not?). Gracie has grown stronger as time passes and that speaks volumes for Westide. I also speak with Ambre a lot. Ambre has gone through a back injury that almost put her out of pl. Westside training HALTED that and she came back stronger. Honestly if you use other methods there is no label for it so I will call it "other". The best notable lifter who used other that I have seen come on to the pl scene is Callerina Key. Friggin retarded strong, friendly and modest this all speaks volumes when you are a 4 plus squatter and in the 160 range (I believe, I know she has leaned out more recently). I think Westside is not the only side and it is not a side for everyone BUT I also think it is also better than starting strength (from what I have seen, I did not do it) for a beginner. I have yet to see anything phenomenal from the looks like westside cube method, but for benefit of the doubt I will group it into the "other" until I see something solely from the cube alone (ie no Westside before). Dan had a good article. Good points. I will not agree with its entirety, BUT it makes awesome points... I also feel that it was a huge call out (moreso than others because let us admit his numbers are crrrrrazy) to Westside which appears intentional, but hey any press is good press aimiright?

On to our training.... Michael is continuing to write me and I feel like I am progressing pretty well with it but yoke may kill me. I feel like I stay sore constantly and I am sure that is diet and just getting back into the grove. I must admit SM is my bag and I am enjoying the variety!! On that note I am applying for a sponsorship for Michael for Afro Brutality sports... I think it is a long time coming for him and with it I hope it brings other opportunities like the chance to write programs for more lifters. It is a CrossFit based company BUT he does sponsor other types of athletes!!

On yet another note (or as Michael says my ADD is kicking in) Amelya is using mosquito repellant stickers and on the first try they worked well!! I am totally stoked she does not have to be exposed to those terrible chemicals!! I am also considering adding elderberry again related to the nasty sinuses going around, but I may wait until she is more symptomatic... Only time will tell. Amelya has also recently developed the slamming my head back when I do not get something I want... This is fun times. I have not decided the method of attack but I am thinking it is gonna lead to butt spankings. This in itself is a very touchy subject but let me be very clear, I was raised by having my ass beat for wrong doings and I turned out well, so I feel this approach will work for her. Well grumpymcgrump is ready for a nap, so tata!

Let the butt hurt begin!!!

Mark my own words...

Not even two blog posts ago I posted about needing unity in pl... More importantly and specifically women's pl THEN yesterday I find out some mutual friends or rather I thought mutual friends thought it ok to call out my spouse in not so many words. Okay.... I get it. I do not like Brandon Lily. I am pretty sure people know that including Brandon himself... However, I do not (nor does my spouse) downgrade Lily's numbers. The guy HAS pulled 805 raw. That is pretty legit. On that same note my husband has pretty much been top 5ish (because we all know it varies) since getting serious about pl. It was termed that he knows nothing about strength because he is still "green".

Let me stop a moment here. My last post was modesty. I am NOT bragging on myself here, I AM posting this without my husband knowing... he is very modest imo for what the guy has been through... My husband has suffered the following thoughout training: shoulder surgery, two pec tears (one minimal), a non healing ulcer on his shins, the test level of a chick until two years ago, sleep apnea, ever changing work schedule and if that is NOT enough, missing lifting days and weeks because our daughter had surgery or did not feel well or needed something. My point to the last couple sentences is this: his training is less than ideal. More so less in the past year. YET he has a 775 squat a 575 bench and a 750 pull. Those numbers are medicore? You do not have anyone as strong to train with you locally??? Really? My husband obviously knows NOTHING about lifting coming from all of that and putting up those numbers in addition to writing me, who in six months and drug free has gotten my numbers back pretty close to pre pregnancy? I mean I did the work but he wrote me.

Sooooo, back to the beginning of my post. Unity of women's pl. I had to remove a female pl from my fb page after I was made aware of the post. I will not stand by and allow a good man, much less the love of my life be trash talked. It is enough that this same pl chick is friends with the couple we compete against, the same couple who (in my opinion here) spoke to our gym owner like he was insignificant and the same couple who when I asked to train with the female part of the couple was told no. It is all good. I honestly wish you guys luck in finding that gym/unity that gives you what you want without being kicked out.

Michael and myself have found a good gym. We respect Wade, he respects us (why do you think he asked us to check out his gym?) It is CROSSFIT. I despise CrossFit, they will never be as strong as pl yet they get so much coverage and it pisses me off BUT LET ME BE CLEAR powerlifting needs to pick up the cf love. Why? Cf has true love for one another. Cannot lift it? Your yelled at untill you try! Hit a PR? Ten people tell you awesome. Going to regionals? They help with snacks! No way to lift that day? Your partner watches your kid. Need help with technique? They watch your vid and offer to help. Fucking grumpy and sore and you just wanna fuck some weight up? They leave you be and let you turn on hatebreed. I love it. Cindy, Tara and both of the Meetzes have been awesome to us and in turn we try to do the same. It does not always have to be a gift. A great word or even a suggestion is always a great "gift". "Gifts"unite people. Amelya is my "gift" daily, so is Michael and my grandparents.. And so is my gym, they all make me better and I love them.

**Side note: several years ago suggestions were not wanted by myself yet a friend Suzanne Hedman always offered them and eventually I totally warmed up to them/her and I appreciate her opening my eyes to being more open to critique.

In ending I should remind you all I am a powerlifting MOMMY so, in that turn I really want to hit up a few kid subjects. Allergy season is among us. Many of you know that I really have to be more all natural than most because of her heart. On that note I started Amelya on local (Pickens) honey since 9 months. A spoon a day. We have had no issues with allergies. If she gets symptomatic we give 3ml of elderberry syrup until symptoms resolve. Adults can do this too!! I also highly suggest looking into alternate forms of sunscreen (deet free) like skin so soft, mosquito stickers or citronella spray! Now.... Onto sunscreen. It has been getting a lot of publicity. It really is full of junk. I have been giving Amelya 5ml of cod liver oil and only use facial sunscreen. They have to be on cod liver oil two weeks before sun protection can occur and they must hydrate well!!! I also must include the benefits of high fish oil levels (dha/EPA) like cholesterol decreases, joint health, sleep! You can get the stuff super cheap at Walmart and Amelya takes it like a pro.

I think that is it for now... Gotta feed the kiddo!

Taking all your credit. And yours. And theirs.

Within the past year or so I have seen several women and men attaining several of the goals set for them.... Some weight loss, some strength, some just health decisions. I have just been sitring by watching it happen again and again and I am assuming these folks think press is press right? NO!!! Two days ago I watched two people who run a crossfit gym, who I know would love to have more buisness post a before and after of a client and simply marked "crossfit and paleo" not Hit Crossfit. Not Wade Meetze. JUST yo! Look at what she did!!! THERE is my point. Who did the work? She did. Who wanted it? She did. Michael is training a couple guys for raw strength right now and instead of shooting out of the mouth and promoting it, Michael was like "let them do it, see it works and THEN THEY can tell people" I said no, but looking back at it, I do not want to be like that and Michael was showing me modesty.  There is a way of getting yourself out there, it is called word of mouth. Let someone else promote your works! God was not like "yo guy I just fed a bazillion people, bow down!" He let people spread his word. My point?  Modesty goes a long way.

Catch up and man up

It has indeed been a month but in the past month I attained a one year old and am working quite a bit plus strongman training and now in a new gym. I also did a meet this past month. I weighed in at 214, which is 17# from my last weigh in and is still very heavy, it is very apparent on my midsection... Leading up to the point of all the above is that my new gym is CROSSFIT... And I am doing one or two WODs just to lose weight and primarily on bench days or event. Being in a cf gym changes a lot of things. A true crossfitter is amazing. They are focused on the goal at hand and oddly enough, encouraging of whatever you are in the gym for. I have also seen some women more like myself, less worried about the scale more about strength, which is great. The downfall to strength in a cf gym is more often then not cardio bunnies will pop up (and want to do strength) and even if doing strength will kill gains by wanting to run marathons/5k or cardio.

Motherhood is very different with a running toddler. She is very independent within reason and has opened up to some but crowds (much like mommy) are just a no go. We still are doing every six month echoes and I have recently added 5ml of cod liver oil in addition to daily meds to help with the upcoming summer and just for general fat intake and cholesterol (because we do feed her eggs daily). I have read a good bit on cod vs fish and other than the EPA and dha doses I do not really see much of a difference except getting her to take cod liver is CAKE. Reflux meds are ten times worse, which reminds me we are still on to follow up with her sleep doc soon. While on the subject of motherhood I feel it very necessary to bring up vaccinations at a year old we load up our kids full of all kinds of stuff, the most highly discuss able being the mmr (measles mumps and rubella). First, I am pro vaccine. Second, I am pro delayed vaccine. I think too much therisol (spell check refuses to work with the spelling) ie mercury at once is Cray Cray so delaying is good for us... But I do think getting them (unless live vaccines for health issues stop you) is very important. That being said a friend of mine, (for the sake of driving myself nuts the little girls name is Jo) got her one year shots. Jo had a pretty bad reaction up to 104 fever, seizure and hearing loss (that will return with time). I texted the mother and her response to be affirming she did the right thing was "do you think so?" Um YES. Did you know a recent bout of the mumps recently shut a school down? Did you know your child could be disabled of never reproduce if they got these diseases? Did you know that the more do not vaccinate the more likely these diseases will become common? Did we survive? The autism link has been debunked folks... And do you not think our daily diets are not causing a radical increase in autism? No you say? Do you feed your kid that shit they call food at McDonald's? Do you watch the carbs fat and protein? Our diets have changed radically in the past twenty years.

Onto another subject, powerlifting. Women's powerlifting is so hateful. Yea I am calling out pretty much every female powerlifter. Powerlifting is fun. None of us are going to ever become anything... The proof is Laura. Strongest woman ever right? She does have the records, the respect, the gym, the sponsership but her physically powerlifting does not pay the bills. Her job does. So then why is women's powerlifting so damn catty? I guess it is the numbers? I tend not to think so. Ann Vanderbush has whipped my ass several times in the same weight class yet we still chat. Who is prettier? Who is really pretty when squatting double body weight? Who is thinner? That is just silly, I have been thick and thin and I will never be thin and powerlift but I would never hate on a 123 lb chick because she was 123. I cannot figure out why women in this sport are not more bonded... I guess for the same reason cf and pl is still not bonding? Are we scared? Scared of not fitting in? One better than the other? Mad because one uses Westside and another 5/3/1 and we are so brainwashed our method is the right one that we hate all others? I dunno.

Women need to step up to the plate... Er bar... And if you are reading this and you lift, it means you.

Pulling from the pack....

I have had a very rough couple of weeks. Just from every aspect. I really cannot catch a break. The gym has been great and I feel better about bench than ever before primarly because if speed and leg use. I feel as if a bigger bench is on the way! As far as being a Mommy, Amelya is growing, almost too fast. She is eating real food and openly asserting herself. Her sleep study is resecheduled for the end of May to see where we need to go.. We are dosing daily meds along with stopping formula and vit d milk and progressing to raw milk and/or coconut milk. I am ok with all of this, but not with other things. I  so often given people so much slack and trust to be adults I believe it has finally burned me. I seriously dislike people. I try so hard to please and help and it is unappreciated. I am sure some of the people who read this may or may not believe, or some at least feel the need to do the right thing I hope, but for me I feel like a good Christian always attempts to do the right thing. Trust. We have blind trust in God why not others? We are made in his image right? Why so frequently am I disappointed in people when I know they are either very faithful or extremly unfaithful and manage to surprise me with their actions? Prehaps I need to stick to my spouse and my daughter for a while. We are not holy rollers, nor are atheists but we trust and respect one another. We always will. Prehaps that is the very issue, I do not demand it myself so how do I recieve it? Much like the gym and dieting... I must go and eat right to expect a big pull or squat, so now I must demand trust.  Pull away from the pack.

The power of....

The power of.... I think alot of things are mental:  how good of a parent a person can be, how someone feels, how strong they are. I think as far as parenting two good, strong and open parents can rear a well behaved, appropriate and strong child. I think doing things you want your child to do (action) gives positive and good reinforcement on proper behavior expected of that child even at Amelya's age. Amelya is not perfect, she gets cranky when she is tired, she has difficulty self soothing at times and most importantly, her heart is repaired with small issues that we hope will resolve on their own.... this all leads me into caring for a child with long term medical issues. I have long been a part of a mothers group on facebook and in real life. As time goes on some babies have been diagnosed with short term issues and some long. I am unsure if I am bitter or just hurt by it but I have noticed the mothers with short term issues make EVERYTHING a big deal. I feel like no one (with the exception of one mother) understands how I feel or how I worry nonstop. No one understands why I cannot get things done alot of the time (I will not risk her getting sick) or that the only time I get gym time is if my wonderful grandparents watch her. No one understands that as parents Michael and myself are willing and taking alot of precautions  to keep Amelya healthy (handwashing, shoes off at the door, no exposure to other kiddos) and that is not what I am ranting about. I am ranting about mothers who overreact over simple issues like posts not answered on facebook or vision issues or dry skin.... Fixable issues. I complain about reflux and  feel bad for ranting about it when sweet Kirby is in heaven and I know her parents would love to have our simple issues...  Which brings me to... I seriously sometimes  wonder when complaining about anything becomes in excess and when being humble is a better option.

On the note of excess my bench seems to be coming along smoothly as does Michaels and I am very happy. I have also found out that tea tree oil can tqke the stink out of wraps and sleeves pretty well, which is a bonus for our rehbands. I would also like to mention I am pretty irritated with the people at our gym who think Michael and myself have to share a bench because we workout togeather. No. No. No. I pay a membership so get off your horse and deal with it. These people complaining are the ones who frequently do it and honestly everytime I look at them they are being unsafe or showing more skin than I care for... I should complain but I am 34 not 14. They need to grow up.

Squats, Co-ops and cloth wipes

So.... I squatted 315 x 2 with wraps and a belt. It has been forever and it felt really good. I think I have some small issues in trusting my wraps.  I have been reeeeeeally raw (no wraps or sleeves) for two years now so having to relearn is just, well, new. I am really getting the feel for calling my own weights as well. Bench seems to be on the up and up but well, it IS bench (you know, the part where you lie down for rest between the real lifts). Diet wise  Carb backloading is at a stand still now but I am really watching the carbs and I feel like the heavier weights are converting fat into muscle (Yea I read that in an article, it is totally true). In seriousness I am seeing a fat loss but the scale is not moving. Disappointing but expected. On that note I joined a vege co-op and got the trial basket today... Worth what we paid but no more. I made a quiche out of it and it turned out great!!! This week we also converted to cloth wipes... Because yes I am that cheap and "crunchy" mother. Why have I NEVER done cloth wipes before now?  I am in love and tea tree oil is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I am totally addicted. It got the smell put of our neoprene rhebands and it cleans like everything. On another note Amelya is refluxing BAD again. I mean wake her up in the middle of the night and reflux on the bed bad. All the docs want to talk to one another to make sure it is ok and then it takes forever and at this point I may use up the old meds. 

Intro... I first started blogging when my daughter had surgery to help with how I felt and here I am 10 months later and with the addition of some normalicy I have failed to update hers so I will link hers, called Amelyas Journey, to mine. Anyhow the point of this blog is to post new ideas, tips and tricks as a mother and a powerlifter, both of which I am a student and teacher. I will try to commit to once weekly. As a mother my life has only recently become settled with Amelyas last echo that showed no change (which means her gradiant is up but no worse.). We are also dealing with sleep apnea with her, which my bearded powerlifting husband has. I do also work 26 to 40 hours as a pediatric nurse for a wonderful family in their home. My best totals at 198 were 424 squat 182 bench 455 deadlift, all raw with knee wraps (strangulators). I lifted (pain in the ass being pregnant and in a commercial gym) out alot until about 7 months when just walking into the gym made me fatiqued and then basically became a crazy jealous bitch while my spouse prepped for a meet. It took me until Amelya was five months old to get back in regularly (and a 70# weight gain) and only because we dealt with two hospitalizations and moving twice. So... Forward now to a ten month old who provides gpp and sprint work as well as nap time and early morning wakings and here I am. If you have read thus far and I have not pissed you off in some strange way then I may actually pick up some regular blog readers... If not, well then I am no worse for the wear. My outspoken nature is what pisses people off, so let us start off the right way: by stating some opinions on a couple hot topics. Steroids? Love them. Done them. Clean now. Cloth diapers and coconut oil? Only way to diaper. Carb backloading? Undecided. Youtube knowledge dropping? Stupid. Gear? It has its place. Cosleeping? Only until a year old. Faking plate poundages and wearing gear to a raw meet? There is a special place in hell for you, and in time your 15 will be over. So this wraps up the first blog.... Onto the cold hard powerlifting mommy. ***The pics below represent ME. A mother with short nails and calluses (prevent infection and lifting scars) and Housework, cloth diapers and squatting gear... How many other mommies did this before and after kids???