Just a thought....

I wish people knew what it was like to be in my shoes. To wake up every morning with your arm half asleep and your husband upset because your child sleeps with you, not because of a belief or bond but because you are worried she will quit breathing. 

I wish people would take me for the person I am that is not always showing, the one who worries constantly if I am on top of the laundry, the dishes, med refills, the grocery list, bills or even  current research on A's nutritional, heart, gi, sleep or speech needs. The one who lifts when she can because putting her in daycare is a death sentence because of the financial burden of a hospital stay. The one who lifts because she would lose her sanity and all reason if she could not. The one who feels like although she tries, she knows she has placed her spouse on the back burner to make everything work to have a family.  The one who will always speaks out but not about the things that really bother her. The one who also works 29+ hours despite what people think. 

I wish people knew the countless things it takes to be strong. Physically and mentally. 

I wish people would experience the daily issues of a child with needs. 

Often, more than once a day I try to research alternate methods to help my little. Such a small surgery brought on big consequences... And often I do not even know where to start.